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Tuesday, 27 October 2009

  • Listening to: Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition

    Live Well, Love Well... Love and Be Loved. In the past few years, I've been going to far more than my own share of weddings. And immediately, you could always feel the tension or the complete lack thereof. And it's rare that I've attended a wedding that I've felt they completely understood the importance and significance of that one very special day. It's rare that I completely feel overwhelmed by the privileged of just being allowed to witness the union of a love I believe in. Then I've realized how rare it is these days to find people who still believe in the hopeless romantic antics that I still absorb my own life in. Every medium from books to movies to music to people who could give me that feeling in any shape or form... I'm addicted to love. I have exactly what I need but you could never have enough of that emotional heroine.

    This past weekend, R and I went were requested to take photos of Andy and Nancy's wedding. Over the past few years, I've limited myself to the people I call friends....cutting my associations to a limited few since I've realized that my time has been shortened and days numbered. I prefer the quality of a great friendship versus the quantity of a plethora of mediocre associates.  We witnessed and photographed one of the most elegant weddings I've ever attended. The simplicity of the grand scheme of the wedding was contrasted with the little details in the decorations, wine and martini glass charms, vases filled with seashells and candles that lined the aisle with sand and more shells. The alter was adorn simply with romantic white fabric that danced with the breeze and pillar candles with calla lilies and white spider mums. The bride and groom wrote and said their own vows and close friends witnessed the entire union.

    The after party was with the groom's old band members and musician friends who jammed to random songs into the wee hours of the night. It was the most casual and magical weddings I've witnessed. Simple but elegant. And the message they sent out to all who witnessed their union was to "live well, love well, love and be loved."

Thursday, 22 October 2009

  • Listening to: Michael Buble - Crazy Love
     
    Desensitized. The topic of the gradual desensitization of old loves have come up more often than not lately. Perhaps it's due to the increase numbers of more marriages and significant life changes. It's life...out of sight, inevitably less out of mind. Of course the process works a lot slower than we sometimes prefer it and at some point we start to believe that you wouldn't ever heal. But you do and eventually, you move on and as most young love, it becomes almost a faint scar on your life. Nearly a decade ago, I would just banish the idea of ever healing from a broken heart and ever just getting "over" the idea of the person or any association with the person.

    Yet all myths proves to be true. I found someone that I ended up loving more who is a better fit for my life and it all starts to desensitize exponentially. Those faint thoughts and curiosities become non-existent for extended periods of time until brought up by a mutual friend. It's a strange feeling....not to have those feelings for someone who once was so significant in my life. But with casual conversations with friends more often lately, I realize that it happens pretty often and in the same manner.... you still think about the person often until you've completely healed. It doesn't mean that they can't all co-exist. They're just not as important when you're in a happier place.

    Ithaca and Niagra. Since R had a training in Ithaca, NY and I've never been, we made it into a leisure pre-training weekend. The daily temperature was in the high 30s to low 40s. We bundled up and prepared for rain, sleet, and snow but the weather was surprisingly gorgeous. "Ithca is gorges." The millions of years of erosions and glacial stress created these enormous gorgeous filled with waterfalls and strange landscapes. The fall foliage was at peak season so the hikes along the gorge creek beds surrounded by golden leaves were absolutely breathtaking. We spent hours playing hide and seek and just leisurely hiking to waterfalls and strange rock formations. We drove up three hours on Sunday to Niagra Falls both on the American side and over the Rainbow Bridge to the amazing Canadian view of the Niagra Falls. They're just absolutely amazing!

    I miss being here. I should make more regularly updates. Yay! R's coming home tomorrow.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

  • Super Fan. After almost two months of waiting for Jason Mraz and waking up early in the morning and scrambling to purchase tickets as soon as they were up for sale, the day finally arrived. The forecast called for rain but I was hopeful. The tickets read "Rain or Shine." They didn't mention torrential rain. I crossed my finger all day and mentally wished for the rain clouds to pass by us. It was only Tuesday and I was already having a horrible week. I was stung by a yellow jacket on my back on Monday and someone side swiped my car. I spent the entire day on Monday at work recovering from the drowsiness from the Benadryl I took as a precaution. My day couldn't get worse than Monday.

    After spending nearly half an hour in traffic searching for the new venue, we ended up gettin caught in the storm only to be turned away back to the car to wait for the update on the concert. It was the one time procrastination paid off and the extra clothes I didn't clear from my car provided fresh dry clothes. An hour sitting in my car waiting for the update.... we finally decided to go back to the amphitheater to check on the update...My car battery died.... We had to look for jumper cables.

    In the meantime, unclear updates from rumors passing around. The concert was moved indoors and he was going to perform an acoustic show.  We were given the option of holding on to our tickets for a return concert at a later date. We didn't take our chances and stood waiting outside of the venue with the other thousands of fans. More waiting and finally the last torrential downpour cleared half of the crowd. We all managed to get into the Fillmore and the show was INCREDIBLE! It was completely worth. He is an awesome musician and person. I would stand in the rain all over again to see him.

    The crowd was insane. The show was such high energy. He played a full set and then some.... all the goodies. G.Love freestyled and Bushwalla was great. Mraz made me forget my crazy week for two awesome hours. I'm a superfan now.

    He's coming back September 10th to Charlotte again. Just before my trip to Maui.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

  • Listening to: The Mostar Driving Club - The Honey Tree

    Half of all friends replaced every seven years. "The results showed that personal network sizes remained stable, but that many members of the network were new. About 30 percent of discussion partners and practical helpers had the same position in a typical subject's network seven years later. And only 48 percent were still part of the network. This finding goes against previous research which had showed that social network sizes are shrinking.

    Mollenhorst also established that networks were not formed based on personal choices alone. Our friend choices are limited by the opportunities to meet. He saw that people frequently choose friends from a context in which they have previously chosen a friend. Also, whether or not our friends know each other strongly depends on the context under which people meet."

    I looked up the studies because it was brought up in a conversation. I wonder if the number of years starts to decrease as you get older? It's a lot easier to write off former friends in the past few years. I guess I am just getting too old to tolerate nonsense for too long.

Monday, 08 June 2009

  • Listening to: Josh Rouse - Sweetie

    The Alpha Friends. It amazes me sometimes how people who are so self involved in their ways are so incapable of admitting to their own fault. They make the assumption that people are out to inflict these imaginary pain on their lives when they're unwilling to admit their hands are responsible for molding the current situation. It's fine being in the midst of a group of friends with one who designates themselves as the alpha-female but when you add another alpha female to the mix, you get a tension that's uncanny. I've seen it once on the Discovery channel. They fight until one leaves the pack. The more dominant female remains and the pack remains. It's strange how humans are so similar to animals but we are. It's unexplainable how some people are so self-absorbed in their ways that they're unable to see their own fault because the world and directions has always flowed so smoothly towards their direction for so long. They're incapable of selflessly stepping aside and realizing how their desire to dictate people's lives have slowly severed those relationships. The wicked part is that they've allowed to lead other people into believing that they have absolutely no idea how certain failed friendship happened. They exclude people yet their feelings are hurt because they've been excluded.

    I've always been passive aggressive. As I've aged, I've become more aggressive and a little more "brutally honest" with my opinions. It's not always what people want to hear and they may not always agree but the good friends still stick around despite the honest truth. But sometimes as friends, you just need to let people know how they're hurting other people and then shifting the blame and twisting the fault around. Just because everyone isn't completely aware of it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. If you observe closely enough, you see all the tell-tale signs of the issues unfolding. The elephant in the room could only be kept hushed hushed for so long. I started analyzing my relationships with friends lately a lot more and realized that the ones that I'm the closest to are the ones who have also grown such a thick skin to be able to take in all those "brutal honesty." I'm just annoyed but at least I've allowed myself to finally be honest about it all.

    Having a horrible case of insomnia. Vodka gives me insomnia even in small doses. I'm not sure why I still haven't learned from it. Writing gives me comfort.

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